But I was okay with all of that, do you know why? I had a copy of SkyMall magazine in my hands. Yes, it had some unknown red substance splashed on the front, and some of the pages were stuck together, but it was mine, all mine! Not to disappoint, the magazine catalogued a vast array of random gadgets and gizmos that somewhere, for some reason, some people must buy to fill some purpose. What purposes, you may ask? Spying on your spouse. Massaging assorted body parts. Growing hair. Not walking your dog. The list goes on.
What caught my eye this time around, you ask?
- Why go to your beer when your beer can come to you. For realz. If this doesn't scream 'lazy', I don't know what does.
- On a related note, someone has finally solved the age-old dilemma of how to get wine out of a bottle, and into a glass. And holding wine. They solved that problem too. My parties are going to get *so*much better!
- The only thing better than a head massage is a head massage anytime you want one. Wear it at Starbucks, I dare you!
- Put $5.00 away five days a week for a year, and you'll have $1300.00! You can only do it with this box. Note: $1300.00 not included.
- Am I the only one who finds it disturbing that they make this shirt in an adult size?
- Finally, I can find out what I would look like with a mustache. Finally.
- Fucking gravity has finally met it's match.
- Honey, you know what would really pull this room together? A life-sized sculpture of a woman with a lamp on her head.
- This puts the 'scare' in scarecrow.
- Temperature Regulating Blanket, also know as a regular, ol' blanket. Color me crazy, but don't all blankets keep you warm?