Friday, September 23, 2011

SkyMall awesomeness

Did you know there's no easy way to get to Louisville, Kentucky? In the span of seven hours, I zipped from Ottawa to Toronto to Cleveland to Louisville. Most of the trip was pleasant enough, however the plane from Cleveland to Louisville was a hot mess, it was absolutely filthy, the flight attendent spilled hot coffee on me (then awkwardly tried to towel it off), and I sat next to a man who managed to spend an entire hour hawking lougies.

But I was okay with all of that, do you know why? I had a copy of SkyMall magazine in my hands. Yes, it had some unknown red substance splashed on the front, and some of the pages were stuck together, but it was mine, all mine! Not to disappoint, the magazine catalogued a vast array of random gadgets and gizmos that somewhere, for some reason, some people must buy to fill some purpose. What purposes, you may ask? Spying on your spouse. Massaging assorted body parts. Growing hair. Not walking your dog. The list goes on.

What caught my eye this time around, you ask?

  1. Why go to your beer when your beer can come to you. For realz. If this doesn't scream 'lazy', I don't know what does.

  2. On a related note, someone has finally solved the age-old dilemma of how to get wine out of a bottle, and into a glass. And holding wine. They solved that problem too. My parties are going to get *so*much better!

  3. The only thing better than a head massage is a head massage anytime you want one. Wear it at Starbucks, I dare you!

  4. Put $5.00 away five days a week for a year, and you'll have $1300.00! You can only do it with this box. Note: $1300.00 not included.

  5. Am I the only one who finds it disturbing that they make this shirt in an adult size?

  6. Finally, I can find out what I would look like with a mustache. Finally.

  7. Fucking gravity has finally met it's match.

  8. Honey, you know what would really pull this room together? A life-sized sculpture of a woman with a lamp on her head.

  9. This puts the 'scare' in scarecrow.

  10. Temperature Regulating Blanket, also know as a regular, ol' blanket. Color me crazy, but don't all blankets keep you warm?


  1. I need gravity to help with the breasts - the shoes won't help.

  2. Seriously, a wineglass holder necklace... Can you say, loser... And it comes in a set of 2, in case you can find a loser friend at a party, although most likely if you have this, you probably wont be invited at a party and you just drink cheap wine in your parent's basement, by yourself... Why don't you tattoo a Capital L on your forehead?!?

  3. A remote beer caddy, perfect for the husband who has everything and is too lazy to get off the couch to get his nth beer from the fridge by himself... I haven't found on Skymall the accessory to refill the beer caddy, so buyer beware, because much like you daughter's kitty, puppy and fish this too will become your responsibility to feed...

  4. My hubby would love the t Rex shirt :)

  5. Hahahahha! OMG, I'm so sorry about the crappy flight(s) - I thought stuff like that only happened to me!

    Holy smokes, those items are weird - who wants a lady with a lampshade on her head in their living room!? And the money saver box... seriously? Wouldn't an old shoe box do the trick?

    I'm happy to report that Jackson is back home, safe & sound :-) After all the calls we made and posters we put up and walking we did, he found his way home all by himself!