What are the odds?

If there's anything I have learned as a retailer in the past 12 (almost 13) years, it's that when things seem to be going OK, they're actually not.  While you're cooling your jets, thinking you finally have everything under control, the universe is carefully balancing the proverbial cherry on top of that shit sundae it's about to serve you. 

Our Ottawa location was broken into last night around 4:30 in the morning.  The glass in the front door was kicked in, the thief crawled through the resulting opening, disconnected our cash register drawer, and strolled out with it - I would hazard it took less than five minutes for the thief to complete the task.  The alarm was triggered, but response time was, *ahem*, slow. 15 minutes lapsed between when the alarm was triggered and I was notified, we received a call at home at 4:40am, we were at the store by 4:45am (like Starsky & fucking Hutch, yo!).  I had naively assumed an alarm system would deter criminals, however, I imagine that anyone in the habit of crash and dash knows that as far as priority goes, commercial break & enters are low on the totem pole of importance when it comes to determining police response.  The alarm simply served as notification that there was a mess to clean up.

When we arrived at the store, I was struck at how tidy the burglary was.  The items that were previously resting on top of the cash drawer were set aside on the counter, the cord was carefully unplugged, the cash drawer was simply gone; nothing else was disturbed..  Once the shock of the intrusion had subsided, I worried about more important things.  Like my hair.  I'm not a particularly vain person, but since cutting my hair short a few weeks ago, I have become increasingly aware of how hard short hair is to maintain.   My previous hairstyle of, oh, 20  years  required a whole 30 seconds to 'do'; short hair?  Not so much.  Just to whip it into a state of mediocrity requires time and product, neither of which were in abundance at 4:40 this morning.

PSA: Filters are your friend.

I went to bed last night with wet, uncombed hair, under the mistaken belief I would have plenty of time to flat iron it into submission this morning.  My usual bedhead was multiplied, like, to the nth power.   As absurd as it was, I was really concerned about how ridiculous I would look to the police once they came to the store (bedhead aside, I was in my pyjamas!).  The police officer didn't bat an eye at my dishevelled appearance (one can assume he's seen worse, although the selfie I took makes me look far better digitally than in person, due in large part to a combination of filters designed to hide liver spots and boob wrinkles.  Unedited version here). 

We filed a police report, not that it will accomplish much aside from providing a basis for an insurance claim.  The glass in the front door was replaced (that was the bulk of the damage), our cash drawer needs to be replaced, and we are out about $300 cash.  I also had our locks rekeyed on the off chance we had a spare key in the cash register. 

After all was said and done, I couldn't help but wonder if I was somehow responsible for what happened this morning.  We had a light over our porch that burnt out years ago (*years* ago!).  I had always meant to replace it, but it was on my long list of things to get around to (a list that remains largely ignored, am I right, Melissa?). Ironically, I was out walking the dog in the neighbourhood the night before and I thought there was a chance our back window might have been accidentally left open. I debated whether it was a waste of my time to go to the store and check the window, asking myself "What are the odds anyone would ever break into our store?"  I did stop by the store to check the window (it was closed), and I can't help but think that somehow putting that question out to the universe resulted in the answer I received within 36 hours.  The last time I asked a question of that nature was when I loaned our van to a friend in need.  As I made that offer, the thought "What are the odds she'll get into an accident?" briefly passed through my mind.  Not even ten minutes after she took possession of the van, another driver backed into her when she was stopped at a red light.  Kind of makes you wonder, huh?

On the bright side, once the police report was filed, I had time to kill while waiting for the door to get repaired, so I took care of paperwork I had been meaning to get to, and that burnt out light over our porch has also been fixed.  We will no longer keep cash on the premises at night so that if we are broken into again, there is nothing to take (I can't imagine cloth diapers have high street value, although I'm a little shocked the thief didn't think to grab a pair of Padraig slippers for someone on his Christmas shopping list, I mean seriously, how inconsiderate?). 


It's an unsettling feeling to know that there's not much besides a thin pane of glass from preventing this from ever happening again, but I would like to think we're at no more risk than we ever were.  I have already stopped by the store twice tonight (!!!), and while I've briefly debated booby trapping the store à la Home Alone, or lying in wait in the store at night with shoe polish on my face and a golf club in hand (to what?  Invite the intruder to play golf?), I am looking forward to a good night's sleep with no interruption.  Hopefully this is the first and last we see of this type of activity, I'm not keen to repeat the experience.

Woven wraps update!

OK, so it took a while.  A long, long while.  I have been intending to restock woven wraps for years, for over three years, to be exact.  We previously stocked Didymos woven wraps, perhaps considered the grand dame of the woven wraps, this brand has been established for over 30 years.  When I started carrying Didymos, we stocked a small selection of colorways and sizes, however, I quickly learned that woven wrap enthusiasts can be a hard crowd to please.  Anyone who appreciates the value of a woven wrap simply wouldn't be happy purchasing whatever we may happen to have on our shelf, and given that Didymos currently offers approximately 100 colorways (I shit you not) in seven sizes, pleasing everyone is a difficult (actually, impossible) task.  

In terms of stocking a woven wrap, I have been looking for something that would be a great entry level woven wrap, a brand that is well-established, but competitively priced.  My goal is to stock something that will appeal to anyone who is interested in babywearing, and considering their options.  Some people may be aware of what value a woven wrap offers, however, many new parents do not, the cost of some brands may induce sticker shock that will see customers' jaws hit the floor.

For the past three years, I have been approaching various wrap manufacturers to gather wholesale prices.  Most woven wrap manufacturers are located in Europe, meaning when I determine our cost, I have to factor in duty, brokerage fees, and high shipping rates.  Many woven wrap manufacturers are not really set up to accommodate wholesale clients, offering a marginal discount that is eaten up once the cost of importing the wraps is factored in.  What that means is that I would basically pay the equivalent of their retail price to stock their wraps.  As a business, I need to mark products up sufficiently in order to make it worthwhile to stock them.  I have to pay rent, staff, and utilities to keep our doors open. 

The phenomenon of 'showrooming' is one that has forced me to be keenly aware of how we price the products we sell.  If what we stock is deemed 'too expensive' by customers, we run the risk of paying thousands of dollars to have stock sitting on our shelf that will be treated as a library.  People will come in, take a look, ask us questions, then go home to order online.  As much as I personally loved using a woven wrap with our children, I have been apprehensive about taking the plunge again because of the fact we would essentially be competing with manufacturers to stock their carriers -- if we can't be competitive pricewise, it's a pointless venture (one manufacturer retails their woven wraps for the equivalent of $70 CAD, yet they have established a SRP within North America of $125 USD -- this would lead to showrooming of epic proportions!).

Enter Girasol, a well-respected German brand that has been in operation since the mid-1980s.  Their wraps are woven in Guatemala using weaving methods that have been around for hundreds of years.  Their wraps conform to European safety standards, and they are woven employing fair trade practices.   They offer a selection of beautiful colorways that should please most palates, and as an added bonus, they offer custom colorways -- we can design our own colorways that would be produced in a limited run.

Our opening order includes the following colorways in sizes 3.6 m, 4.6 m, and 5.2 m, which will accommodate all carries up to a woman's size 22:

Rainbow Herringbone	Graphite Diamondweave
Red ChiChi	Fireworks (lemon weft)
Colorway #25	Forest Diamondweave

Pricing for Girasols is as follows:

twill 3.6 meters	$125.00
twill 4.6 meters	$135.00
twill 5.2 meters	$145.00
diamondweave/herringbone 3.6 meters	$135.00
diamondweave/herringbone 4.6 meters	$145.00
diamondweave/herringbone 5.2 meters	$155.00

We are really thrilled to have Girasol on our shelves, we you hope you're as excited as we are!

#teamDiane

Social Media was abuzz yesterday with a story about two people behaving badly (in other words, it was a slow news day). To be honest, only one person was confirmed to be behaving badly, as evidenced by his tweeting to the universe a rather one-sided account of how he harassed a woman into missing Thanksgiving with her family (insert slow clap for Elan Gale, who is quite proud of himself for bullying a middle-aged woman into a reaction that I'm sure she's not proud of).

Elan Gale produces The Bachelor, in other words, he is a man of no discernible talent.  Have you watched the show? It's awful. Like, terrible.  Like, quite possibly the worst show ever, in the history of the universe.  And I'm someone who liked loved Jersey Shore, not some artsy-fartsy, hoity-toity brainiac who watches Masterpiece Theater whilst sipping on brandy and smoking a pipe.  My standards are quite low, obviously.  Anyhow, what passes for quality TV these days is irrelevant (and, my own mother watches his show.  Apparently, there's no accounting for taste).  This blog entry is about how Elan Gale harassed another passenger for the entire duration of a flight who, like, him, was flying home for Thanksgiving, egged on by the flight crew, and a number of Twidiots.

In theory, Thanksgiving is a time where you give thanks for your good fortune, it's an opportunity to spend time with loved ones you might not see on a regular basis.  As a result, Thanksgiving is one of the busiest travel periods of the year.  Travel for anyone is stressful.  The gist of the story is that Elan and Diane's flight was delayed, and Elan overheard Diane complaining to the flight crew that she might miss Thanksgiving with her family. I mean, the nerve, right?  Yes, Elan, Diane wasn't the only person who would be inconvenienced by a delayed flight, and complaining about it to the staff was unlikely to resolve anything, but having no one else to talk to, perhaps venting to the staff about it made Diane feel a little better.  Is that really such a crime?  She wasn't tasered and hauled off the plane, so I'm going to assume that while her venting to the staff was probably an annoyance at most, it wasn't anything they don't hear about a billion times a day.  The plane eventually took off, but rather than marking the end of Diane's misfortune, it marked the beginning of hours of harassment.

Elan Gale decided at this moment to become the champion of the flight crew (not that anyone asked him to get involved), and he decided it would be absolutely hilarious (hilarious!) to send Diane a glass of wine with a note intended to make her feel even worse than she clearly already did.  At this point, the flight crew became involved, hand-delivering his 'gift'.  The note was almost nice.  Almost. It ended with Elan suggesting to Diane that if she drinks the wine, she won't be able to use her mouth to talk -- Elan was effectively telling a random, upset stranger to shut up.

Or course, the situation escalated from there. Diane didn't respond immediately, but that wasn't good enough for Elan.  To further drive home his point, he walked by Diane, depositing two mini bottles of vodka onto her tray.  At this point, Diane responded to Elan with a note of her own, essentially calling Elan out for his lack of compassion.  Rather than backing down, Elan declared 'war', hand-delivering a note to Diane that culminated with an instruction for Diane to 'eat my dick'.   Un. Fucking. Real.

A couple more notes were passed back & forth between Diane and Elan, with Diane commenting that Elan's behaviour was 'inappropriate beyond belief' (hello, it was!!!  Completely inappropriate!!!!  No random stranger should tell another random stranger to 'eat his dick'.  No one!), and Elan once again magically working the word 'dick' into another note .  After the plane landed, and everyone disembarked, Diane strode up to Elan at the airport, and slapped him.  Probably not the best response, but I can't blame Diane.  After being harassed by Elan (initially with the help of the flight crew) for a number of hours, her rage got the better of her.  The fact Diane held her shit together on the plane is impressive, she probably handled the situation better than most.  For this single retaliatory act, Diane was apprehended by airport security, guaranteeing that she would miss her connecting flight, ensuring she would miss Thanksgiving with her family.  Elan's reaction?  Pleasure at his ability to bring misery to another human being at Thanksgiving.

This story is all kinds of wrong for a number of reasons.  Why the flight crew thought it was appropriate to send that first note is beyond me, never mind the issue that they were ferrying alcohol between passengers.  Why Elan Gale didn't take the opportunity to show a little compassion to another traveller is a mystery, one would think Thanksgiving would be the perfect opportunity to perform a random act of kindness.  Perhaps a smile and a show of sympathy would have turned Diane's day around.   Why would people following along on Twitter continued to encourage Elan to escalate the situation, enjoying the misery inflicted on another person for the simple reason that she dared to express her feelings about a situation that was causing her distress (and seriously?  I doubt this is why someone, somewhere, though it was a good idea to allow Wi-Fi on planes)?

As someone who has had the experience of missing a trip that I was really, really looking forward to, I can empathize with Diane.  No, I didn't complain to the airport staff when I was in a similar situation (even though an Air Canada employee was 100% directly responsible for my misfortune), but I did commiserate with other travellers stuck in the same boat, and you know what?  The complaining made me feel better.  Rather than rolling their eyes at me, the other travellers were quite sympathetic, one even gave me her phone number and address in London, suggesting that if I couldn't work out the trip, I was welcome to stay with her for the weekend, essentially turning lemons into lemonade. 

Elan Gale claims his behaviour was an attempt to 'stand up' for people working in the service industry, however, the reality is that Elan Gale used the unhappiness of a fellow traveller to provide his own inflight entertainment.  It's unfortunate that no one else on the plane took the opportunity stand up for Diane, however, if anything good can come of this, perhaps it's the reminder that we should always take the opportunity to be nice to other people, showing them the same compassion and appreciation we would expect in return, a lesson that Elan Gale could stand to take to heart. 

Update: As it turns out, there was a reason Diane was so distraught at the possibility of missing Thanksgiving with her family (and wearing a medical mask, and breathing loudly).  Apparently Diane has terminal lung cancer.  http://freethoughtblogs.com/butterfliesandwheels/2013/11/bullying-at-35-thousand-feet/.  I hope Elan Gale has the decency to issue an apology, along with everyone else who encouraged his behavior.  How shameful.

Beyond the Pines: a review

I don't often go to the movies without my husband, but last night I escaped for a couple of hours to the movie theater with a couple of friends (who are also employees, I like to think they spend time with me outside of work because they like me, not because I pay them, but I digress!).  Anyhow, we were at the movies for a few reasons, namely:

• Ryan Gosling
• Bradley Cooper
• Ryan Gosling

Yes, I mentioned Ryan Gosling twice, but he deserves a second mention, I think we can all agree on that.

The movie we saw was "The Place Beyond the Pines," the basic plot is Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper (I'm a little fuzzy on the rest of the plot nuances).  As always, Ryan delivered.  He was all broody and muscular.  Bradley Cooper was all pretty and stuff.


There were a few key points in the film that really spoke to me.  Like when Ryan Gosling was shirtless and sweaty (more like dewy, I don't think Ryan sweats.  Or poops).  That was awesome.  And the part where he held a baby?  I wanted to cry.  It was like awesome wrapped up in more awesome.  And the part where *he* cried?  Big, fat tears rolling down his perfectly chiselled cheek???  It was like awesome wrapped up in more awesome, with a fucking bow on top.  OMG, imagine if Ryan was holding a baby, shirtless, and crying, ALL AT THE SAME TIME?!?!?  I probably would have exploded.

There was some stuff I didn't like about the movie.  Like the scenes without Ryan.  There was something lacking (namely, Ryan).  Bradley Cooper was OK, but he wasn't Ryan (he needs to work on that).    

All in all, I would recommend this movie, I give it 10,000/10.

PS -- Ryan, if you're reading this?  Call me!!

Skymall goodness 2012

One of my favorite things about flying with US-based airlines has nothing to do with flying itself, and everything to do with a certain catalogue that graces the back-seat pockets on the plane.  

The Skymall catalogue is something to behold, an impressive presentation of what can most accurately be described as a big ole pile o' crap.  While it's hard to imagine that anyone actually purchases any of the aforementioned crap, Skymall's annual revenue is thought to exceed $100 million (holy crap!).


Although I have never made a purchase (and likely never will), I do love to spend time combing through the catalogue, paying more attention to the more outrageous offerings.  

1. Skel-e-gnomes - Because sometimes, regular gnomes just aren't whimsical enough.
2. The Human Slingshot - A game.  Where you launch yourself into other players.  Why, you ask?  Why not!
3. Align 'N Drive Kit - Stickers.  To help you locate your front tires.  If you can't find your fucking front tires, stickers aren't going to help.
4. Hanukkah Tree Topper - Somewhere, Jesus is rolling over in his grave.  Or is he???
5. Upright Sleeper - Makes this guy look normal.
6. Jeans Lounge Pants - Makes jeggings look normal.
7. Ketchup & Mustard pillows - Ketchup & Mustard pillows are a fun accent for any room.  Said no one ever.
8. Drunk Cat - "This painting would look great in our living room!"  Said no one ever.
9. One of a Kind Shirt - "Honey, I love it!"  Said no man ever.
10. Pierogi ornament - If this is your family heirloom, your family sucks.

Part III: Really? You think people need that?

It took me a full year to post this entry, mostly because I felt bad for the folks at #9 because they had their kids at their booth, and they had spent so much money advertising their business at ABC.  You see, I don't have a heart of stone after all.

Aaaaand I'm back. As I knew it would be, this year's trip to the ABC Kids Expo in Loisville, Kentucky was over in the blink of an eye. Louisville itself was a big fat bore, if the city is considering a new slogan, I would suggest "Lousville: boredom on steroids", or as an alternative, "Louisville: it ain't Paris." However, venue aside, three days and three nights without my children (and husband) was absolute bliss. It was a little lonely eating dinner by myself, but for the first time in years I would wake up in the morning, stretch lazily, and debate the merits of sleeping in or getting up. I'm not going to lie, that felt good awesome.

As per usual, my days at the expo followed the same pattern as they do every year:

Day one: Damn, this place is big. There are so many vendors. I can't read this map, where the hell am I? Didn't I just walk by this booth? Damn, this place is big.

Day two: Money is no object, my credit card knows no bounds! What's that, I can save 2% if I spend $2,000? Sold! You have to spend money to make money!

Day three: Holy shit. I have spent so much money. How am I going to pay for this all? Oh my God, what have I done, WHAT HAVE I DONE!?!?!?!

I placed a lot of reorders with existing suppliers, and picked up some new suppliers along the way. Walking the floor at the expo can be a daunting task, I generally draw up a list of vendors I really want to see, but sometimes the best way to discover things is by chance, and that means doing my best to see every square inch of the expo, which can bring me to some good things, and it can bring me to some bad things. Some very bad things.

I will preface the remainder of this blog entry with a disclaimer that this list is strictly based on my personal opinion, which sometimes may not count for much. As an example, I have a deep and abiding love for Jersey Shore. And the New Kids on the Block. See what I mean? Furthermore, I have written certain products off, only to be proven totally and completely wrong. That being said, here is my list of this year's whackier offerings at the ABC Expo. Enjoy!

1. I'm all for dual-purpose products, who doesn't want to buy less? While prefolds that can be used as diapers, then as cleaning rags might be awesome, a baby headband that is meant to be kept and reused as a bridal garter belt is just plain creepy. It's like the slutty version of the Hanky Bonnet.
2. I had no idea holding babies was so darn tricky. Enter the "Poche Suit", an infant sleeper with pockets all over it that essentially turn the infant sleeper into a giant glove. Between that and the 'world's first and only infant lap seat', we can all rest-assured that babies all over the world will not succumb to being dropped.
3. You know what makes money? Fear. There are lots of products that tap into every parents' fear about the danger lurking all around us. How about a monitor that alerts caregivers after 20 seconds of inacitivity? Forget waking twice a night, how about being woken 200 times a night (as with any monitor, there will be false alarms)? If the threat of 20 seconds of inactivity isn't enough, the monitor's manufacturer is careful to point out the inherent hazards associated with competing monitors -- strangulation, choking, and fire!!!! It is a scary, scary world out there.
4. Having four kids, I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have asked myself at restaurants "My gosh, you know what would make this situation easier? A purse-sized pizza cutter!" Oh wait a second, now that I think about it, I can tell you how many times I have asked myself that question: exactly zero. Most (read: all) restaurants have utensils to cut up food, and if they didn't, I would probably do something wild and crazy like tear food up using my bare hands. I know, right? I'm a freaking warrior.
5. God forbid any of us have to pick up crayons ever again. Parenting is hard work, and sometimes you have to pick shit up.
6. It would seem the assumption behind juvenile product development is that parents are bumbling idiots. As bumbling idiots, we need help with even the most basic of parenting tasks. Like remembering you have a child in the car. This clever gadget plays music *every time* your car stops to remind you that you have a child in the car.
7. The carseat monitor deserves a second mention because of it's ability to notify parents when a child leaves their carseat. Presented under the pretense that Momma Bear is driving along, completely oblivious to the shenanigans of Baby Bear who has undone his carseat, in reality, this kind of app might encourage a scenario where Momma Bear leaves Baby Bear unattended in his carseat -- I don't care how 'smart' your phone is, no App can replace proper parental supervision and common sense.
8. Um, does anyone else see the startling resemblence between last year's Sniffle Buddies and this year's Baby Ankees? I can't recall ever losing my baby's feet inside a sleeper, but perhaps I was just one of the lucky ones.
9. You will have to take my word for it, but this company had designed the worst cloth diaper ever (ever!).  Although I admire their desire to set themselves apart from every other diaper manufacturer out there, the idea of turning a cloth diaper into a bulletin board of sorts was just plain bizarre.  The outer layer of the diaper was fuzzy, and various velcro sticky badges could be affixed to the diaper to A) stimulate conversation ("Hey, your baby has a raccoon tail stuck to her butt!") or B) educate your baby (if you can consider sticking letter-shaped badges to your baby's butt a form of education). 

And there you have it.  I'm sure there were many more products that deserved a spot on a list like this, but it's hard (impossible!) to note them all.  ABC is a never-ending sea of product pitches, some good, some bad.  

Well, that was fun.

Today, in the name of 'good health', I subjected myself to one of my least favorite pastimes (if you could call it that), I went for my annual check-up.  You know the one.  The one where the doctor kicks all the tires and checks under the hood (literally - ha!) to ensure everything is in working order.  Yep, today I checked the all-important Pap Smear off my list of things to do.   Good times, I tell you...  

My doctor is a man, and while he is quite nice, the thought of any man other than my husband seeing me in a complete state of undress during the day and under fluorescent lights no less, causes me huge anxiety in the weeks (yes, weeks!) leading up to my check-up.  I'm not so much concerned about him being on the business end of the Pap Smear, as I have to assume that once you've seen one vagina, you've seen 'em all, I'm more concerned about the fact I can't really hide the extra pounds I've gathered over the years.  I can't really suck 'em in, and I'm not sure wearing Spanx would be appropriate, even if they do have a pee pee hole (and they do, if you care).

Pre Pap Smear, I shower (duh!), shave my legs, trim my toenails, and tidy up down there (it's the least I could do).  On that last point, I'm a little unsure as to what proper etiquette dictates in terms of how much pubic hair your doctor should see (assuming he's looking).  Miss Manners doesn't seem to have an opinion on what's considered appropriate, and there doesn't seem to be a Pap Smear merkin you can slap on top to ensure you're striking the perfect balance between 'too much' and 'not enough'.  At any rate, I hope I hit the mark just right today.

During the Pap Smear, my doctor does his best to carry on a normal conversation, while I do my best not to fart.  As horrendous as the whole Pap Smear is, it would be even more horrendous if I farted.  In that particular situation, I couldn't exactly blame it on the kids now, could I?  Not that I would ever do that, because that would be wrong.  

Apres Pap Smear, my husband gave me a sympathetic nod when I came home, having sat (Laid?  Curled up in a fetal position?) during a prostate exam with the same doctor, he can sympathize with the relief felt at getting it over with.   Of course, it's not really over until I hear the results (or don't hear, I suppose it's a case of 'no news is good news'), but for now, I'm happy to mark that particular task as completed, until it's time to do it again.