Friday, October 19, 2012

Skymall goodness 2012

One of my favorite things about flying with US-based airlines has nothing to do with flying itself, and everything to do with a certain catalogue that graces the back-seat pockets on the plane.  

The Skymall catalogue is something to behold, an impressive presentation of what can most accurately be described as a big ole pile o' crap.  While it's hard to imagine that anyone actually purchases any of the aforementioned crap, Skymall's annual revenue is thought to exceed $100 million (holy crap!).

Although I have never made a purchase (and likely never will), I do love to spend time combing through the catalogue, paying more attention to the more outrageous offerings.  

  1. Skel-e-gnomes - Because sometimes, regular gnomes just aren't whimsical enough.
  2. The Human Slingshot - A game.  Where you launch yourself into other players.  Why, you ask?  Why not!
  3. Align 'N Drive Kit - Stickers.  To help you locate your front tires.  If you can't find your fucking front tires, stickers aren't going to help.
  4. Hanukkah Tree Topper - Somewhere, Jesus is rolling over in his grave.  Or is he???
  5. Upright Sleeper - Makes this guy look normal.
  6. Jeans Lounge Pants - Makes jeggings look normal.
  7. Ketchup & Mustard pillows - Ketchup & Mustard pillows are a fun accent for any room.  Said no one ever.
  8. Drunk Cat - "This painting would look great in our living room!"  Said no one ever.
  9. One of a Kind Shirt - "Honey, I love it!"  Said no man ever.
  10. Pierogi ornament - If this is your family heirloom, your family sucks.


  1. come on! skel-e-gnomes for the store! you know you want to...

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. I look forward to your SkyMall posts. I always find them entertaining.

    1. I see your Skel-e-gnomes and raise you a zombie gnome.
    2. The Human Slingshot is a dental surgeon's dream.
    3. Align and Drive Kit. Almost as dumb as the Shake-a-Weight.
    4. Hanukkah Tree Topper "This is awesome for world peace" Really????
    5. Upright Sleeper... Don't forget the satin bag for that added elegance at Narcoleptics Anonymous.
    6. "Hobo Pants"
    7. AWESOME! something to go with my hamburger bed!
    8. I'm not going to lie... I want that in my house.
    9. I think this is what happens when you step into a transmission booth. (See The Fly, circa 1985)
    10. Wonder if this pairs well with the Christmas Pickle?