I just had my first sex (or S-E-X) talk with our oldest, who is nine years old. It came out the other day that kids are talking about it at school (apparently, it's *all* they talk about!), and I thought it's probably time to open a dialogue about it with her. My own parents never said a peep to me about sex, it's a wonder we have four children! I want our kids to know they can talk to us about these things, and I also want them to know it's a healthy part of any loving relationship, and if she's talking about it in the schoolyard, it's time to talk about it at home.
When Maddy first brought up 'S-E-X' the other day, she told me her friends say you have to 'do it' to get married (they're in grade four, people, grade four!). She then told me she knows that's not true because we (her father and I) are married and we have four kids, and we've never done it (!!!). I did what I could to stifle a laugh, our other children were with us at the time (4 and 7), I wanted to discuss it further with Maddy, but alone, not with an audience. She was clearly embarrassed about it, I didn't want her to be anymore uncomfortable than necessary (OK, I lie, I was also trying to minimize my own discomfort too!).
In terms of 'where babies come from', we have always been open with our kids about the science behind baby-making -- from an early age, they've known that a mommy has eggs in her belly, and a daddy has seeds in his penis. Daddy puts the seeds in mommy 'with love', a baby grows for nine months, then the baby comes out of mommy's vagina (or sometimes the baby is cut out of her belly). The only thing I've never known how to broach is the 'how' behind it all (when my kids have asked "How does Daddy put his seeds in you?", I've never managed to come up with a better answer than "With love" because I don't know how to explain the mechanics without blushing!).
If I think back to my own childhood, I can recall my first discussions about S-E-X with my friends, I was in grade five, so I suppose not much older than Maddy is now. I'll admit, I surfed Amazon looking for books yesterday, my first instinct was to order a book and give it to her -- talk about the chicken's way out! However, I suppose throwing a book at her really won't make her feel like opening up about it down the road when she needs someone to talk to. The opportunity presented itself tonight when she was in her room alone, doing her homework. I asked her if she has any questions about sex, and she turned three shades of red, her reply was a quick 'no'. I told her I just wanted her to know it's something that people do when they're in love, and that Daddy and I do it, if we didn't, we wouldn't have four wonderful children. At this point, looking thoroughly disgusted, Maddy exclaimed "I'm glad Daddy had is seeds taken out so you don't have to do it again -- you don't do it anymore, right?". I laughed and said "yes" (at this point, we were both blushing!), and tried to emphasize it's a way two people can show love for each other.
Oh, and didn't the floodgates open up then! No questions? Ha!
"What do you wear when you do it?"
"Where do you do it?"
"What position do you use?" (can you even believe she asked this? Grade four, people! And no, I didn't answer.)
"Have you done it this week? Last week? Last month?"
"Do Gramma and Grandpa do it?" (at this point, I fully sympathized with her, there are some things *I* don't even want to think about!")
Between each question, she hid her face in her pilow, or groaned 'ewwww', and told me it's an inappropriate conversation. She also told me her teacher tells them to 'visualize' things they can't understand, and she doesn't want to visualize anything anymore!
The conversation wasn't exactly flowing, it was definitely awkward for us both, however, I wanted her to know that if she has questions, I'd rather she asks me as opposed to the kids at school. I've heard horror stories from customers who are high school teachers about what happens now (two teachers have confirmed it's not an urban legend!), it would seem times have changes since we were in high school! I have no idea how I went from being the mother of a bouncing bundle of joy just nine short years ago to the mother of a child who talks with her friends about S-E-X, but I certainly don't want to bury my head in the sand and pretend she's never going to grow up! I just hope that as she gets older, and the topic gets more relevent (God, no!), she's comfortable enough to talk to me about it.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Babywearing and biking don't mix.
Apparently, some things need to be spelled out for some people. I will preface this by saying I'm an avid babywearer. We have four kids, we have always relied on a collection of various carriers to tote them around. Babywearing is easy, convenient, and when done properly, safe. However, there are instances when you should forgo the baby carrier, and use a little common sense instead.
I recently stumbled across a blog entry in which the auther filmed a trip with her family to a local healthfood store. The family rode two bikes, the mother's bike was behind the father's bike, she was filming his bike ride. The father had a toddler on the back of his bike, strapped into a bike seat, wearing a helmet. He also had an infant who appeared to be less than six months old strapped to his chest, in an Ergo carrier, the infant was not wearing a helmet. I was dumbfounded.
I left a comment on her blog suggesting that it's not a wise practice, she should reconsider transporting such a baby in that manner. Not only did she disagree ("Safety is always a big concern for us and in our opinion Baby C is in the safest spot given the situation. Whether he’s riding along in a car or any other moving piece of equipment/ animal there are always risks involved. Common sense & following our intuition is how we often “roll”. Just so you know, this isn’t habit and we don’t do it on the daily … usually for a short jaunt or trail ride- when less traffic is involved."), but several other commenters agreed with her, one of whom pointed out that her mother used to do it with her. Um, yeah, OK, you mean like back when infants rode in cars on people's laps? I guess we should do that too, right?
I sent the blogger a private message detailing why riding a bike with an infant is an unsafe practice, even if you only do it occassionally, even if you choose a time of day when there is less traffic, the risk of serious injury to your baby is high if you do get into an accident. There are many reasons you shouldn't wear your baby on a bicycle:
I recently stumbled across a blog entry in which the auther filmed a trip with her family to a local healthfood store. The family rode two bikes, the mother's bike was behind the father's bike, she was filming his bike ride. The father had a toddler on the back of his bike, strapped into a bike seat, wearing a helmet. He also had an infant who appeared to be less than six months old strapped to his chest, in an Ergo carrier, the infant was not wearing a helmet. I was dumbfounded.
I left a comment on her blog suggesting that it's not a wise practice, she should reconsider transporting such a baby in that manner. Not only did she disagree ("Safety is always a big concern for us and in our opinion Baby C is in the safest spot given the situation. Whether he’s riding along in a car or any other moving piece of equipment/ animal there are always risks involved. Common sense & following our intuition is how we often “roll”. Just so you know, this isn’t habit and we don’t do it on the daily … usually for a short jaunt or trail ride- when less traffic is involved."), but several other commenters agreed with her, one of whom pointed out that her mother used to do it with her. Um, yeah, OK, you mean like back when infants rode in cars on people's laps? I guess we should do that too, right?
I sent the blogger a private message detailing why riding a bike with an infant is an unsafe practice, even if you only do it occassionally, even if you choose a time of day when there is less traffic, the risk of serious injury to your baby is high if you do get into an accident. There are many reasons you shouldn't wear your baby on a bicycle:
- your baby is strapped to 100+ lbs of deadweight (yes, I'm talking about you). Ever heard the phrase "the bigger they come, the harder they fall"? Think about it. Since your baby is strapped to you, she will experience the same impact as you, which will be much harder on her tiny body than on yours.
- you might land on your baby. You know, because she's STRAPPED TO YOU. I have debated this point in a forum with other babywearing vendors, the majority of whom seemed to think that riding a bike while wearing a baby was likely safe (how's that for a ringing endorsement? It's *likely* safe!). One suggested that if a parent falls off a bike while wearing her baby, she will be able to manipulate her body in mid-air to land with the baby on top. Last I checked, we're humans, not cats. If you get turfed from your bike, you'll hit the ground before you know what happened, there won't be time to react.
- if you fall while you're on a bike, your baby is falling from a taller height and travelling at a faster speed than if you fall while you're walking (for those of you who want to argue that you can also fall while walking and babywearing). You know how bicycles work, right? To stay upright, you have to move the bike at a pace faster than walking. So not only is your baby strapped to 100+ lbs of deadweight, the height and the speed at which she's travelling will make the impact that much worse.
Biking is a great family activity, and babywearing is a wonderful way to include your little one in the things you do, however, they don't go hand-in-hand. The possibility of taking a spill aside, cycling can be a bumpy affair, you and I can tolerate the normal jostling of a bike, however, your infant's neck is not as strong as ours, and if your bike comes to a sudden stop, your little one will not be able to control her head movement (big head + weak neck = not good!).
Even if you're the best cyclist ever to pedal across the earth, to be blunt, shit happens. When I was driving home from work a couple of weeks ago, a wheel broke clean off a car and bounced across the highway in front of my car. It was only by the grace of God that no one was hurt, but if that wheel had bounced *just so*, there would have been nothing I (or anyone else on the road at that time) could have done to avoid it.
Apologies for my preachy tone, but I think it's warranted here. I chatted with several customers in the store about this on Saturday, all of whom admitted to witnessing others babywearing while biking (and inline skating along the canal, and ice skating on the canal!). As parents, it is our responsibility to keep our children out of harm's way. No, we cannot raise our children in a bubble, accidents will happen, however, waiting until a child is old enough to properly tolerate a bike ride, and using the proper gear to minimize risk will reduce the likelihood and severity of injury.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Wear your baby on the bus
Without getting into the drama of 'should they or shouldn't they', I'm going to write about how babywearing can make public transportation easier (I'm sure you're on pins and needles, am I right?). I live in Stittsville, I drive to work, so the whole stoller-on-a-bus issue generally doesn't affect my day-to-day life. Prior to having kids, when I worked in an office in downtown Ottawa (back when I wore makeup, did my hair, and shaved my legs on a regular basis... I digress!), I used OC Transpo regularly (I have OC Transpo to thank for my love affair with the Harry Potter series of books!). Since becoming a parent, I have used public transportation with our kids occassionally, and in those rare instances, I have never felt the need to use a stroller. In fact, I would say using a baby carrier instead always made the experience far easier.
So, why wouldn't I want to use a stroller on a bus? For starters, how awkward must it be to get on and off a bus with a stroller? I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest very awkward. Babywearing makes things like stairs and narrow spaces easy to negotiate. Easy on, easy off!
What about when the bus is packed full, how do you think your little one feels with people pressed up against his stroller? From their perspective, it must be a little scary to be surrounded by lots of strangers in cramped quarters (like a forest of legs!). When you're carrying your baby, you're always close by, he just has to look up and he can easily see your face for reassurance.
Slings make breastfeeding on the go much easier. Babies get hungry everywhere. If I had junior strapped into a stroller, and he decided he wanted to eat, like, five minutes ago already, it would be a struggle to get him out and latch him on on a crowded bus. When your baby is in a carrier, breastfeeding can be easy and discrete.
Lastly, I have always appreciated that when my babies were carried, it was easy to keep them away from the hands of well-meaning strangers. When sitting in an enclosed space with lots of people you don't know, especially in cold and flu season, you don't want strangers stroking your baby's cheeks.
If you're boarding a bus with a toddler, and you think he's outgrown a baby carrier, think again. A lot of soft-structured carriers (SSCs) can be used with children who weigh up to 40 lbs, the size of an average four year old. You can wear your toddler on your front, making it easy to sit down with him in your lap. It can be done, trust me!
So, all this to say if you have a current OC Transpo or Grand River Transit pass, you are entitled to a 10% discount on any instock, regularly-priced baby carrier (no other discounts apply). Transit pass must be shown at time of purchase.
So, why wouldn't I want to use a stroller on a bus? For starters, how awkward must it be to get on and off a bus with a stroller? I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest very awkward. Babywearing makes things like stairs and narrow spaces easy to negotiate. Easy on, easy off!
What about when the bus is packed full, how do you think your little one feels with people pressed up against his stroller? From their perspective, it must be a little scary to be surrounded by lots of strangers in cramped quarters (like a forest of legs!). When you're carrying your baby, you're always close by, he just has to look up and he can easily see your face for reassurance.
Slings make breastfeeding on the go much easier. Babies get hungry everywhere. If I had junior strapped into a stroller, and he decided he wanted to eat, like, five minutes ago already, it would be a struggle to get him out and latch him on on a crowded bus. When your baby is in a carrier, breastfeeding can be easy and discrete.
Lastly, I have always appreciated that when my babies were carried, it was easy to keep them away from the hands of well-meaning strangers. When sitting in an enclosed space with lots of people you don't know, especially in cold and flu season, you don't want strangers stroking your baby's cheeks.
If you're boarding a bus with a toddler, and you think he's outgrown a baby carrier, think again. A lot of soft-structured carriers (SSCs) can be used with children who weigh up to 40 lbs, the size of an average four year old. You can wear your toddler on your front, making it easy to sit down with him in your lap. It can be done, trust me!
So, all this to say if you have a current OC Transpo or Grand River Transit pass, you are entitled to a 10% discount on any instock, regularly-priced baby carrier (no other discounts apply). Transit pass must be shown at time of purchase.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Tips for convincing Dad to use cloth diapers.
While we see a lot of expecting couples doing their research at our stores, it's not uncommon to see pregnant women come in alone, gathering information for their partners who are reluctant to consider using cloth diapers. We are well-prepared for this, we have handouts that detail the who-what-why of cloth diapers, a chart that breaks down the cost savings, and a glossary of terms with a chart that outlines the pros/cons of different systems. What can I say, we want you to be prepared!
If your partner is still on the fence, the following tips can help bring him over to the dark side.
Make him read this. What can I say, I think I did a pretty good job of poking holes through any argument against using cloth diapers.
Show him what today's cloth diapers look like. Like your future daycare provider, your partner may have some preconceived notions about what cloth diapers are, and how they work. If you take him to a store that sells cloth diapers (like ours, hint hint), allowing him to see and feel cloth diapers, you'll do a lot ot sway him to your point of view.
Buy him his own stash. If your partner is still hesitant about using cloth diapers because of their perceived difficulty of use, then buy some easy-to-use diapers just for him. Yes, prefolds are easy to use, however, if he's going to reach for a disposable diaper because prefolds scare him, then buying him his own diapers will be worthwhile investment. Consider a velcro pocket diaper, if you stuff it beforehand, it goes on just as quickly and easily as a disposable diaper.
Keep it simple. Oh, how can I put this delicately. There are some people out there with a lot of time on their hands. I'm not a make-work person, so the thought of folding and color-coding our cloth diapers ever time I wash them makes me shudder. Like anything in life, using cloth diapers can be as complicated or as simple as you make it. If your partner is already worried about the workload involved, make it easy on him by storing everything in a hamper. It doesn't have to look pretty, but it makes laundry day so much easier when all you have to do is pull everything out of the dryer and stick it in a hamper. So. Easy.
Point out the obvious. No matter how liberated you and your other half may be, truth is, for the first few months at least, mom will likely be the baby's primary caregiver. It's just the way things tend to work out. As a result, he will not be changing as many diapers as you will. If you're the one changing poopy bums, you should be the one to make the call as to what goes on junior's bum.
Sign up for a diaper loan program. Over six years ago, I developed the concept of a diaper loan program (a genius idea, if I may say so myself!) as a way to enable parents to seriously consider cloth diapers, giving them a chance to 'test the waters' without making a serious financial investment. A loan program is a great way to see what using cloth diapers involves (easy-peasy, I swear!), and your partner will get a chance to try a variety of diapers -- who knows, maybe he'll turn out to be a prefold fan after all!
It wasn't terribly hard to bring my husband on board with respect to using cloth diapers. The cost savings alone sealed the deal (like me, my husband is a frugal person, a man after my own heart!). Nine years and four babies later, he has never regretted the decision. Your partner won't either, I promise!
If your partner is still on the fence, the following tips can help bring him over to the dark side.
Make him read this. What can I say, I think I did a pretty good job of poking holes through any argument against using cloth diapers.
Show him what today's cloth diapers look like. Like your future daycare provider, your partner may have some preconceived notions about what cloth diapers are, and how they work. If you take him to a store that sells cloth diapers (like ours, hint hint), allowing him to see and feel cloth diapers, you'll do a lot ot sway him to your point of view.
Buy him his own stash. If your partner is still hesitant about using cloth diapers because of their perceived difficulty of use, then buy some easy-to-use diapers just for him. Yes, prefolds are easy to use, however, if he's going to reach for a disposable diaper because prefolds scare him, then buying him his own diapers will be worthwhile investment. Consider a velcro pocket diaper, if you stuff it beforehand, it goes on just as quickly and easily as a disposable diaper.
Keep it simple. Oh, how can I put this delicately. There are some people out there with a lot of time on their hands. I'm not a make-work person, so the thought of folding and color-coding our cloth diapers ever time I wash them makes me shudder. Like anything in life, using cloth diapers can be as complicated or as simple as you make it. If your partner is already worried about the workload involved, make it easy on him by storing everything in a hamper. It doesn't have to look pretty, but it makes laundry day so much easier when all you have to do is pull everything out of the dryer and stick it in a hamper. So. Easy.
Point out the obvious. No matter how liberated you and your other half may be, truth is, for the first few months at least, mom will likely be the baby's primary caregiver. It's just the way things tend to work out. As a result, he will not be changing as many diapers as you will. If you're the one changing poopy bums, you should be the one to make the call as to what goes on junior's bum.
Sign up for a diaper loan program. Over six years ago, I developed the concept of a diaper loan program (a genius idea, if I may say so myself!) as a way to enable parents to seriously consider cloth diapers, giving them a chance to 'test the waters' without making a serious financial investment. A loan program is a great way to see what using cloth diapers involves (easy-peasy, I swear!), and your partner will get a chance to try a variety of diapers -- who knows, maybe he'll turn out to be a prefold fan after all!
It wasn't terribly hard to bring my husband on board with respect to using cloth diapers. The cost savings alone sealed the deal (like me, my husband is a frugal person, a man after my own heart!). Nine years and four babies later, he has never regretted the decision. Your partner won't either, I promise!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
We're not going to use cloth diapers because....
Go ahead, I dare you. Try to come up with a valid reason to choose disposable diapers over cloth diapers. It was about a year ago that we received our Sunday edition of the Ottawa Citizen, and right there on the front page, no less, a title about cloth diapers caught my eye. My heart skipped a beat (no, seriously, it did!), I sat down and began to read what I was sure was going to be a great article praising the benefits of cloth diapers. I started to read, and after the first couple of sentences it became quite clear that the author was going to lampoon cloth diapers (and how!).
A 1/4 of the front page and almost a full page inside the newspaper was devoted to the author's attempts to justify her choice to use disposable diapers. After reading this article, I was livid. This article featured very little in the way of truth, the author relied on a British study that suggested there were no environmental benefits to choosing to use cloth diapers over disposable diapers. To put it lightly, this study has been a matter of debate, however, it was a great way for the author to prop up her argument: disposable diapers are bad, and cloth diapers are just as bad: why bother?
The author of the aforementioned article used the same arguments I've heard time and time again.
Cloth diapers cost too much.
Say what? I know we've been over this before, but seriously. I get it, spending $20.00 every week seems a lot cheaper than investing in cloth diapers, but if you do the math, no matter what type of cloth diaper you use, you will always save money. Always.
Cloth diapers leak.
Sometimes, maybe, but not nearly as often as disposable diapers, which I liken to a launching pad for poop. If your baby is wearing a decent cloth diaper that fits well, you likely won't experience poop-between-the-shoulder-blades blowouts like a baby who wears disposable diapers. The texture and the bulk of a cloth diaper keeps poop where it belongs, in the diaper.
Cloth diapers are inconvenient.
If you're seriously going to use this as an argument, then I would strongly advise you to re-think the whole 'having kids' thing. Seriously. Nothing about being a parent is convenient. Pregnancy? Definitely inconvenient. Sleepless nights with a newborn? Tiring & inconvenient. Toddler tantrums? Soooooo inconvenient! Fortunately, we love our children, and we put up with it all to have them in our lives.
Cloth diapers are too much work.
Washing cloth diapers is a simple load of laundry (unless you have a frontloader, which requires a little tweaking). If you're going to use the 'too much work' argument, I fully expect you to wear paper clothes. Do you? I didn't think so. When you have kids, you do more laundry, if you know a way around it, please let me know.
Cloth diapers are messy.
Again, reconsider the whole 'having kids' thing if you're worried about mess. Aside from the fact that children in general are messy, changing poopy diapers is messy business, regardless of whether you use cloth or disposable diapers. Yes, you have to take the poop off a cloth diaper if your baby is drinking formula or eating solids, however, there are ways to make it a little less gross than it sounds. You're actually supposed to remove the poop from a disposable diaper, however, most people don't. Our landfills aren't meant to handle raw human sewage, so you should be dumping the contents of soiled disposable diapers into the toilet before you toss them. Poop removal aside, you have to wipe poop off your baby's bits and bum while she's trying to stick her hands and feet in it -- that's probably the hardest part of changing poopy diapers! No parent will ever be immune from poop.
Cloth diapers are bad for my baby's skin.
Highly unlikely. Have you ever looked at the long list of chemicals present in disposable diapers? You really think cotton is worse than that? How does male infertility sound? Asthma? There is a lot of conjecture about whether or not the chemicals in disposable diapers are safe, and there's an assumption that because a product is on store shelves, it must be safe. A quick perusal of the Cosmetic Safety Database dispells that myth. Why not err on the side of caution and put something against your baby's skin that has been used for hundreds of years with no adverse effects?
Cloth diapers are hard to find.
Well, slap me with a moldy turnip and color me flabbergasted! As if anyone could use this argument! True, when I started The Extraordinary Baby Shoppe eight years ago, there was a dearth of businesses that sold cloth diapers, the vast majority of which were strictly online. Since 2002, as the green movement has steadily picked up steam, cloth diapers have become readily available at most baby boutiques, and specialty cloth diaper boutiques are popping up everywhere. If you can't find a local source for cloth diapers, there are a plethora of online businesses catering to the cloth diapering parent, and there are lots of great educational websites with articles and forums that can help you figure it all out.
Washing cloth diapers wastes electricity and water, they're just as bad for the environment.
I'm wondering, once your baby is out of diapers, where will she be peeing and pooping? That's right, in a toilet! And what's in that toilet? That's right, water! Did you know the amount of water used to wash cloth diapers from birth to potty training in a high efficiency machine is the same amount of water used to flush a toilet five times a day during the same period? If you're going to use this argument, I assume you never flush the toilet. Between your toilet habits and your paper clothing, it must be hard to make friends!
If you are concerned about the electricity used to wash and dry cloth diapers, you can opt to wash your diapers in cold water, and line-dry them (inside or outside). Not so bad after all, eh?
So that's all I've got. You still want to argue that disposable diapers are a better choice than cloth diapers? Try me! But be warned, I like to argue (ask my husband!), and I'm pretty darn good at it.
A 1/4 of the front page and almost a full page inside the newspaper was devoted to the author's attempts to justify her choice to use disposable diapers. After reading this article, I was livid. This article featured very little in the way of truth, the author relied on a British study that suggested there were no environmental benefits to choosing to use cloth diapers over disposable diapers. To put it lightly, this study has been a matter of debate, however, it was a great way for the author to prop up her argument: disposable diapers are bad, and cloth diapers are just as bad: why bother?
The author of the aforementioned article used the same arguments I've heard time and time again.
Cloth diapers cost too much.
Say what? I know we've been over this before, but seriously. I get it, spending $20.00 every week seems a lot cheaper than investing in cloth diapers, but if you do the math, no matter what type of cloth diaper you use, you will always save money. Always.
Cloth diapers leak.
Sometimes, maybe, but not nearly as often as disposable diapers, which I liken to a launching pad for poop. If your baby is wearing a decent cloth diaper that fits well, you likely won't experience poop-between-the-shoulder-blades blowouts like a baby who wears disposable diapers. The texture and the bulk of a cloth diaper keeps poop where it belongs, in the diaper.
Cloth diapers are inconvenient.
If you're seriously going to use this as an argument, then I would strongly advise you to re-think the whole 'having kids' thing. Seriously. Nothing about being a parent is convenient. Pregnancy? Definitely inconvenient. Sleepless nights with a newborn? Tiring & inconvenient. Toddler tantrums? Soooooo inconvenient! Fortunately, we love our children, and we put up with it all to have them in our lives.
Cloth diapers are too much work.
Washing cloth diapers is a simple load of laundry (unless you have a frontloader, which requires a little tweaking). If you're going to use the 'too much work' argument, I fully expect you to wear paper clothes. Do you? I didn't think so. When you have kids, you do more laundry, if you know a way around it, please let me know.
Cloth diapers are messy.
Again, reconsider the whole 'having kids' thing if you're worried about mess. Aside from the fact that children in general are messy, changing poopy diapers is messy business, regardless of whether you use cloth or disposable diapers. Yes, you have to take the poop off a cloth diaper if your baby is drinking formula or eating solids, however, there are ways to make it a little less gross than it sounds. You're actually supposed to remove the poop from a disposable diaper, however, most people don't. Our landfills aren't meant to handle raw human sewage, so you should be dumping the contents of soiled disposable diapers into the toilet before you toss them. Poop removal aside, you have to wipe poop off your baby's bits and bum while she's trying to stick her hands and feet in it -- that's probably the hardest part of changing poopy diapers! No parent will ever be immune from poop.
Cloth diapers are bad for my baby's skin.
Highly unlikely. Have you ever looked at the long list of chemicals present in disposable diapers? You really think cotton is worse than that? How does male infertility sound? Asthma? There is a lot of conjecture about whether or not the chemicals in disposable diapers are safe, and there's an assumption that because a product is on store shelves, it must be safe. A quick perusal of the Cosmetic Safety Database dispells that myth. Why not err on the side of caution and put something against your baby's skin that has been used for hundreds of years with no adverse effects?
Cloth diapers are hard to find.
Well, slap me with a moldy turnip and color me flabbergasted! As if anyone could use this argument! True, when I started The Extraordinary Baby Shoppe eight years ago, there was a dearth of businesses that sold cloth diapers, the vast majority of which were strictly online. Since 2002, as the green movement has steadily picked up steam, cloth diapers have become readily available at most baby boutiques, and specialty cloth diaper boutiques are popping up everywhere. If you can't find a local source for cloth diapers, there are a plethora of online businesses catering to the cloth diapering parent, and there are lots of great educational websites with articles and forums that can help you figure it all out.
Washing cloth diapers wastes electricity and water, they're just as bad for the environment.
I'm wondering, once your baby is out of diapers, where will she be peeing and pooping? That's right, in a toilet! And what's in that toilet? That's right, water! Did you know the amount of water used to wash cloth diapers from birth to potty training in a high efficiency machine is the same amount of water used to flush a toilet five times a day during the same period? If you're going to use this argument, I assume you never flush the toilet. Between your toilet habits and your paper clothing, it must be hard to make friends!
If you are concerned about the electricity used to wash and dry cloth diapers, you can opt to wash your diapers in cold water, and line-dry them (inside or outside). Not so bad after all, eh?
So that's all I've got. You still want to argue that disposable diapers are a better choice than cloth diapers? Try me! But be warned, I like to argue (ask my husband!), and I'm pretty darn good at it.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
The "dos & don'ts" of starting your own business!
I frequently get requests from other women who want to start a similar business to The Extraordinary Baby Shoppe for start-up advice. I don't generally answer these e-mails, partially because I don't have the time, and partially because I wouldn't be sure what advice to give (eight years later, and I'm still learning!).
These requests have run the gamut from vague ("Do you have any tips to share?") to specific ("Here's a piece of paper and a pen, please be a dear and write down your suppliers, their contact information, and where you get your fixtures."). I'll be honest and admit that if you have specific requests like the latter person, I would suggest your preface our conversation with "Hi, I love your store, can I buy a franchise?", because that's about the only way you'll ever get the answers to your questions. A lot of thought and effort (and blood, sweat, and tears!) has been poured into this business (it's definitely my fifth baby!), and expecting me to give up the goods just because you asked is just plain absurd. Sorry, not gonna do it!
So, what pearls of wisdom do I have to offer other people who might want to consider the self-employment route?
These requests have run the gamut from vague ("Do you have any tips to share?") to specific ("Here's a piece of paper and a pen, please be a dear and write down your suppliers, their contact information, and where you get your fixtures."). I'll be honest and admit that if you have specific requests like the latter person, I would suggest your preface our conversation with "Hi, I love your store, can I buy a franchise?", because that's about the only way you'll ever get the answers to your questions. A lot of thought and effort (and blood, sweat, and tears!) has been poured into this business (it's definitely my fifth baby!), and expecting me to give up the goods just because you asked is just plain absurd. Sorry, not gonna do it!
So, what pearls of wisdom do I have to offer other people who might want to consider the self-employment route?
- Do your research first. Just because I can make a go of it where I am, doesn't mean you can make a go of it where you are. You need to figure out who your target audience is (income, age, education, family size, etc.), and whether or not it is large enough to sustain your business idea. Opening a natural parenting business in a town with a predominately aging population, not a good idea!
- Don't expect to make money immediately. If you're in a cash crunch, and you're thinking of starting a business to add to your income, guess again! On average, it takes a new business approximately two years to turn a profit. After a year in business I was paying myself a salary of -- wait for it -- $50.00 a week. That amount has increased over time, but not without a lot of hard work.
- Do figure out what you're paying for a product before you decide how much you're going to sell it for. New WAHMs (work-at-home-moms to you!) are notorious for undercharging when they first open their business. Aside from the actual cost of stock, you will have to account for all the little charges that will put a dent in your bottom line -- credit card fees, brokerage fees, duty charges, the list goes on and on! If you start out charging low prices, it will be hard to increase them when you need to (and you will need to eventually, unless you like working for free!).
- Don't undercut. Some WAHMs undercharge on purpose, under the misguided notion that they will earn money based on sales volume. This plan will never work, you will work like a dog for little (or no) return. Don't undervalue yourself!
- Do know what your obligations to the government are. I often joke that I'm not really self-employed, I work for the government. There's a lot you need to know with respect to GST, PST, employee deductions, and importing goods into Canada. I recently learned a hard lesson that cost me thousands of dollars -- I wish there was a 'Canadian Government for Dummies' handbook, but there's not. However, the government does offer free workshops for business owners, it would be a good idea to attend them if you can.
- Don't copy, it's not nice. It's never OK to take someone else's hard work and claim ownership for it. Copying text from someone else's website and pasting it into your own website (or your newsletter, or your blog) is not cool, even if it's just a bit of text, and even if you change the wording a little. If you would like to use someone else's information, link to it, or ask their permission to use it yourself. It's called common decency. Same goes for images (even a Facebook icon!).
- Do it because you like it. If you enjoy something, you're more likely to be successful at it. Passion is great fuel!
- Don't do it because you want to spend more time with your children. This is a nice idea, and one of the reasons I started my own business, but in actuality, it doesn't work that way, especially if your business is successful. While my job (yes, it's a job) affords me the luxury of being at home when the kids leave for school, and when they come home from school, the reality of it is that while I'm at home, I do a lot of work. I order from suppliers, I answer customer e-mails, and I talk to (both) stores freqently throughout the day. The time I spend with the kids isn't always what I would call 'quality' time, but it's a tradeoff.
- Do take time off. Have a designated 'day off', you will need it! Have you noticed our stores are both closed on Mondays -- I enjoy having one day a week when I know I won't be needed by the business. As important as it is to put the time and effort into a new business, it's equally important to put time and effort into yourself, and your family. Sounds easy, but take my word for it, it's harder than you think!
- Don't treat your business like a hobby. It makes me cringe everytime I come across a person who makes this claim. A hobby is fun. You do it because you enjoy it. It gives you personal satisfaction. The same can be said for a business, however, unlike a hobby, a business is not something you do at your own leisure. You need to take it seriously, and you need to put the effort into it.
- Do consult an accountant first. Yes, it costs money, but it's money well-spent. I didn't do it, but I wish I did, because getting caught up after the fact is hard! An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure...
I know you're probably expecting to see a reference to a business plan here, but I never had one, and I still don't. I started this business based on a gut feeling, at the time, 'natural parenting' stores weren't as abundant as they are now, they were virtually non-existent. The Extraordinary Baby Shoppe was started in a spare bedroom in our home, it grew slowly, first into a stall at the Stittsville flea market (raise your hand if you visited me there!), then into a retail space not much bigger than the spare bedroom we started out in. We now operate out of two lovely storefronts in Ottawa and Waterloo, ON, we have a great staff of moms who are equally as passionate about cloth diapers, breastfeeding, and babywearing as I am.
Starting a business isn't something that should be entered into lightly, and finding the balance between home and work can be tricky, but it is very fulfilling to earn a living doing something you enjoy.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Adventures in newborn diapering
If you want to be successful with cloth diapers, I firmly believe that using cloth diapers from day one will greatly increase your likelihood of success. If it's all you know, you'll get used to it pretty quickly. Starting out with disposable diapers with the intention to switch to cloth diapers once you're 'settled' (whatever that means -- it's been nine years since we welcomed our first child, three kids later, and I still don't feel 'settled'!) may not work out that way. Using disposable diapers for those first few weeks can be a slippery slope, once you're hooked on the supposed 'convenience' of wrapping up the waste and tossing it, you may find it hard to transition to cloth diapers.
I've said it before, and I've said it again, everyone should give prefolds a chance. They're cheap, and they work. You can use infant prefolds with a baby who weighs 8+ lbs, they'll be bulky to start, but newborn babies tend to put weight on quickly in those first few weeks, so the bulk is a short-term issue. We also sell preemie prefolds which can be used with babies who weigh 4-9 lbs. At $17.00/dozen, preemie prefolds are a justifiable purchase even if you only use them as diapers for a couple of weeks, after which you can use them as wipes, or doublers.
If prefolds absolutely, positively do not appeal to you, size 0 Kissaluvs are our most popular newborn fitted diapers, fitting babies who weigh 5-15 lbs. At $14.95 each, they are significantly more expensive than prefolds, however, they are well worth the money. The elastic around the legs in combination with the texture of the cotton sherpa do a great job of keeping newborn poop where it belongs, in the diaper; the umbilical cutout prevents the diaper from rubbing against your newborn's cord stump. In terms of how long your baby can wear these diapers, you can comfortably get at least 2-3 months of use out size 0 Kissaluvs, depending on the build of your baby. My son was born weighing a whopping 9 lbs 11 oz, and he was able to wear his size 0 Kissaluvs for a good 5-6 months, until he weighed 17 lbs (he was a long and skinny baby).
If quick-and-easy is your thing, we sell Fuzzibunz XS pocket diapers, at $15.00 each, they are cheaper than Kissaluvs (Kissaluvs require a cover), however, they are not as absorbent as Kissaluvs (though with a newborn, absorbency generally isn't an issue since they are pooping every five minutes for the first 4-6 weeks). Fuzzibunz XS pocket diapers fit from 4-12 lbs, they are similar to disposable diapers in that they go on in one piece, they are trim, and they will keep your baby's skin dry.
So, how many diapers will I need?
From the get-go, disposable diaper manufacturers will do their best to woo you with free samples, whether it's at your pediatrician's office, or sandwiched in a parenting magazine, these companies have deep pockets, and your loyalty is worth thousands of dollars to them. It's big business to convince parents that they must purchase a product for the first three years of each child's life. Do you think disposable diapers keep your baby's bottom dry for your baby's comfort? No, they do that to ensure your baby will be wearing disposable diapers as long as possible -- when a baby doesn't feel wetness against her skin, she is likely to potty train at a later age. The longer your child is in diapers, the bigger their bottom line.
If you consider the cost of certain brands of newborn disposable diapers, you can see that one company is trying to gain customers initially by luring them in with a cheaper price:
Why the disparity in price? Proctor & Gamble (the manufacturer of Pampers) is gambling that if they can get your baby into their diapers from day one, you will become a loyal Pampers user. If you compare the cost of both brands in larger sizes, you can see the initial savings of buying Pampers diapers for your newborn are eventually lost:
So, what are your newborn diapering choices?
I've said it before, and I've said it again, everyone should give prefolds a chance. They're cheap, and they work. You can use infant prefolds with a baby who weighs 8+ lbs, they'll be bulky to start, but newborn babies tend to put weight on quickly in those first few weeks, so the bulk is a short-term issue. We also sell preemie prefolds which can be used with babies who weigh 4-9 lbs. At $17.00/dozen, preemie prefolds are a justifiable purchase even if you only use them as diapers for a couple of weeks, after which you can use them as wipes, or doublers.
If prefolds absolutely, positively do not appeal to you, size 0 Kissaluvs are our most popular newborn fitted diapers, fitting babies who weigh 5-15 lbs. At $14.95 each, they are significantly more expensive than prefolds, however, they are well worth the money. The elastic around the legs in combination with the texture of the cotton sherpa do a great job of keeping newborn poop where it belongs, in the diaper; the umbilical cutout prevents the diaper from rubbing against your newborn's cord stump. In terms of how long your baby can wear these diapers, you can comfortably get at least 2-3 months of use out size 0 Kissaluvs, depending on the build of your baby. My son was born weighing a whopping 9 lbs 11 oz, and he was able to wear his size 0 Kissaluvs for a good 5-6 months, until he weighed 17 lbs (he was a long and skinny baby).
If quick-and-easy is your thing, we sell Fuzzibunz XS pocket diapers, at $15.00 each, they are cheaper than Kissaluvs (Kissaluvs require a cover), however, they are not as absorbent as Kissaluvs (though with a newborn, absorbency generally isn't an issue since they are pooping every five minutes for the first 4-6 weeks). Fuzzibunz XS pocket diapers fit from 4-12 lbs, they are similar to disposable diapers in that they go on in one piece, they are trim, and they will keep your baby's skin dry.Some people have the attitude that since newborn babies grow so fast, it's pointless to invest in newborn diapers, however, regardless of what type of diaper you put on your child, you will be spending money. Infant pottying is an option that can drastically reduce how many diapers you might use, however, I realize it's not for everyone. If you want want to use cloth diapers with your baby from day one, but you don't want to make a large investment in your newborn's diaper stash, we offer a newborn diaper rental that allows you to rent 20 size 0 Kissaluvs and 10 XS Fuzzibunz for $15/week, the equivalent to what you would spend on disposable diapers. If you were to purchase these diapers, you would spend $450.00, though if you factor in future children and/or resale value, purchasing newborn diapers is generally a worthwhile investment.
So, how many diapers will I need?
A typical newborn will require 10-12 changes a day, due to the pooping-every-five-minutes thing I tend to mention a lot (hey, I want you to know what you're getting into!). You could buy a dozen diapers and make do with washing diapers daily, however, this will make cloth diapering feel like more work than it really is. Purchasing 24-36 diapers will see you washing diapers every 2-3 days, it not only lessens your workload, it will also reduce wear & tear on your diapers (good for resale value, or if you want to use your diapers with future children).
So, is there anything else I need to know?
Meconium (your baby's first poop) is really not the big deal people make it out to be. There's a belief that meconium will stain cloth diapers, parents-to-be often ask us about it. Some parents will actually use this as an excuse not to use cloth diapers from birth, however, I can assure you, meconium, like breastfed poop, washes out fine. It's thick, it's tarry, but it washes away just fine. You don't need liners to protect your diapers, don't sweat it!
If you're using a diaper that requires a cover (like a size 0 Kissaluvs, or a snappi-ed prefold), you can get away without using a cover for the first couple of days because your newborn will be peeing such a small amount. Letting your baby go coverless for those first few days is a great way to air-out your baby's cord stump.
Your baby will likely experience some type of a diaper rash around two weeks of age. All of our babies did, and a lot of our customers' babies do. Your newborn's skin is very sensitive, and no matter how quickly you change her after a poop, it's hard to avoid poop sitting against her skin. Airing her bum out is the best way to heal her skin, leaving her diaperless on an old blanket is the quickest (and cheapest!) way to get rid of a diaper rash.
Using cloth diapers from birth is completely feasible. If it's all you know, there will be no adjustment. If you need help, ask for it, friends and family will gladly put a load of diapers into the washing machine if it means a little more face-time with junior.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
